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Get On With Your Life!
Common occurrences can produce traumatic after-effects that are just as debilitating as those experienced by veterans of combat or survivors of childhood abuse.
Traumatic effects are not always apparent immediately following the incidents that caused them.
Symptoms can remain dormant,
accumulating over years or even decades.
Then,
during a stressful period,
or as the result of another incident,
they can show up without warning.
There may also be no indication of the original cause.
Thus,
a seemingly minor event can give rise to a sudden breakdown,
similar to one that might be caused by a single catastrophic event. Words can’t accurately convey the anguish that we traumatized people experience.
How many times have we had others say to us:
"Get On With Your Life!"
BECAUSE THE SYMPTOMS & EMOTIONS ASSOCIATED WITH TRAUMA CAN BE EXTREME,
MOST OF THOSE CLOSE TO US WILL RECOIL & ATTEMPT TO REPRESS THESE INTENSE REACTIONS.
**Unfortunately,
this mutual denial can prevent us from healing.**
In our culture there is a lack of tolerance for the emotional vulnerability that we experience.
Little time is allotted for the working through of emotional events.
We are routinely pressured into adjusting too quickly in the aftermath of an overwhelming situation.
Denial is so common in our culture that it has become a cliche.
How often have you head these words?
‘Pull yourself together,
it’s over now.
You should forget about it.
Grin and bear it.’
‘Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.’
‘Stop continuing to be a victim!’
‘You’e safe now so why do your fears still control your life?'
Our ability to respond appropriately when faced with danger and threat is determined by a number of different factors:
-The event itself
-The context of a person’s life at the time of the traumatizing event.
-Physical characteristics of the individual
-A person’s learned capabilities (a traumatic reaction is valid regardless of how the event that induced it appears to anyone else)
-The individual’s experienced sense of his/her capacity to meet danger
-History of success or failure