The Maturing Borderline

"True life is lived when small changes occur." - Leo Tolstoy

As many of us borderlines grow older,

we mellow out to some degree.

Impulsivity,

mood swings,

and self destructive behaviors seem to diminish in dramatic intensity.

This pattern might be an objective reflection of change or a subjective evaluation of those living and working with us;

our friends and lovers may have adjusted to our erratic actions over time and no longer notice or respond to outrageousness.

Maybe because we have settled into a more routine lifestyle that no longer requires periodic outbursts-

drinking binges,

suicide threats,

or dramatic gestures-

to achieve our needs.

With age a lot of us lose our energy to maintain the frenetic pace of borderline living.

Or perhaps there is a natural healing process that takes place for some of us as we mature.

In any event,

those sharing a life with us can expect our behaviors over time-

maybe a very long time,

and sometimes without treatment-

to become more tolerable.

At this point the unpredictable reactions become more predictable and therefore easier to manage,

and it becomes possible for us to learn how to love and be loved in a more healthy fashion.

“The changes in our life must come from the impossibility to live otherwise than according to the demands of our conscience, not from our mental resolution to try a new form of life.”

-Leo Tolstoy

#BPD